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Couples who work out together are possibly the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. I have these points to prove it:
1) Identical desire to workout plus identical free time: There is no way your lives are that compatible, unless you have no friends except for each other. Also if you think going on a jog is a 'cute date' then it's time to revisit traditional courting rituals. Going out for dinner is not that uncool.
2) 8 A.M. exercise on a Saturday morning: The weekends are called weekends for a reason. Saturday morning is the perfect excuse, if one was ever needed, for a lie in. Why are you running when you could be having sex instead? Sex burns 150 calories an hour if you get into it.
3) Stretching each other on the street corner: Okay, it's a good idea to stretch a bit after you warm up. But last time I checked women were able to do a quad stretch without their boyfriend massaging their butt while they do it.
4) Running at the same pace: Unless you both have identical heart rates one of you is not getting a good work out. And don't say something like "our bodies are totally in tune with one another," because you sound ridiculous. There is no need to run as if you are surgically attached at the hip. It is nauseating when you 'accidentally bump into each other' as you run with the exact same stride length. It is equally infuriating when you take up the whole sidewalk, blocking runners who aren't in a relationship in the process.
5) His and hers gear: While you're already expressing your love by wasting your exercising time together, there is no need to invest your life savings in the latest identical male and female Adidas clothing line. That red top might suit your girlfriend, but you look like a wilting tomato.
6) Chatting: If this is your idea of a date I can maybe see why you're trying to chat your girlfriend up. But if you’re chatting, you aren't working hard enough. You may as well just walk around like normal people.
7) Weight room: Spotting each other in the gym is a good safety precaution so your loved one doesn't kill themselves with a dumb bell. But that doesn't mean you have to hold hands while you coordinate your reps. There's nothing wrong with going at your own pace when it comes to weight lifting.
8) Loss of man points: This is the sort of thing you used to rip your mates for when you were a single guy. Remember when you saw your pal Fred out on a 'light jog' with his girlfriend? He automatically lost 10 bro points. If you're going to work out with someone it should be your pals, not the person you sleep with.
9) Sweating: Sex sweat is okay, but crotch-sweat on a run? Really? Your girlfriend's grey leggings might be nice and tight but after a 30-minute run with you she looks like she's had an accident. Why are you choosing to see your better half at her very worst? And imagine what you look like right now.
So what do you think? Are you a culprit, or is working out together the start of the end of a relationship?